313What’s in a name? A nomenclature; a title or an identity?  Names have a way of changing over time.  At birth you are given one, at some religious ceremonies you get to add one, and at marriage you can change one.  Who owns a name? Is it an entity that someone controls?  For celebrities who establish brands it can be.  For the common person however, it usually is not.  With billions of people in this world, trying to keep a name exclusive seems ridiculous bordering on absurd, yet some people try.

Today my legal name is Rene A. Mount.  I took my deceased husband’s name when we got married.  He asked me to and I joyfully complied.  He was old school in that it was important to him that we not only shared our lives, but that we share the same last name.  After a long-term relationship this was a natural progression for us, that  close family and friends expected and something we both welcomed.  As most things in life however, living comes at a cost and my dear husband passed away.  Our ten years of joys, sorrows, sickness, health, family, friends came to a halt upon his untimely death.  I imagined myself in many roles, wife, friend, lover, confidante, partner but never as a widow.  It has been sad, devastating and extremely uncomfortable.  Life as I had lived it for the past decade would be no more.  My new reality along with the reality of our children and grandchildren would move into a different phase.  No more Ron asking when we were hosting the next party or what the next project around the house we should be doing. No more Sunday brunches with our daughters and grandchildren.  No more trips to the casino with a car ride of commentary about how my love of slot machines was an absolute waste of money and time, trying to convince me to join him at the black jack tables.  I lost my best friend and while I believed that the adversity of such loss brings people together, I witnessed firsthand the reality of adversity exposing the real character of some.

In order to preserve my husbands legacy that represents a lifetime of hard work, I will change my name.  The name that meant so much to him should not cause the destruction of his legacy and all he accomplished. He married me for many reasons, but the main reason has become crystal clear to me in dealing with others. His words to me have taken on a prophetic meaning. He made me promise him things that I am committed to.

I loved and will always love Ronald Mount.  His kindness, kindred spirit and desire to be surrounded by loved ones made him an affable person.   He had faults as we all do, but a man’s desire to be surrounded by loving family and friends is the wish of millions. His desire to have his life honored and respected is something we all strive for.  I will do the thing that you probably wouldn’t want me to do Mr. Mount, but in doing so I am committed to honor your wishes, preserve your legacy and give you the ultimate gift;  respect of your life and your choices that you not only earned but deserve.

Signing off as Rene A. Mount wife of Ronald J. Mount.

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