This was the year I learned I was weird. My daughter Lauren shared this tidbit with me after I grew frustrated with someone who was making a mountain out of a mole hill. Lauren’s statement made me recognize the minutia of what some people obsess over may seem silly to me, but to them it is not. This is the ‘language’ they speak & this is their reality. I found out that my perspective, my way of doing things, my ‘language’ is very unique to me. We all speak a ‘language’ that we understand & feel comfortable with & it’s rooted in our history. The way we were raised, the way our families interacted & the way we feel. My weirdness has everything to do with the way I tackle problems, interact with others & live my life. Like seeing myself for the very first time, I now have a better understanding of how others deal with life & an appreciation of myself.
Firstly, I find a reason to celebrate everything. Holidays, events or just any simple day, every time I have a chance to do something I do it 100%. When you are all in on celebrating, some may think it’s over the top, I think it’s memorable. I want to make as many things joyful as possible. I have experienced many losses in my life & think happiness is much sweeter when you make things extraordinary.
I am thankful for my life, the people in it & the experiences I have had. The good, the bad & the ugly, I hold no animus for those who have hurt or disappointed me. I am sure albeit unknowingly, I probably have disappointed & hurt others. That’s one of the conditions of human nature. Forgiveness however, can be difficult. Getting over things & moving on is one of the greatest gift we can give to ourselves. When you let go of this unnecessary ‘baggage’ we are free to find peace.
I find humor in life, especially my life. Laughing at ourselves is a gift I wish more people had. What some have described as my self-deprecating humor is really just embracing all my faults, flaws & flubs. I have done things & laughed about them that others would find downright embarrassing, I found them funny. I never take myself too seriously & react to situations with humor & a chuckle or two.
I am a problem solver who will go out of my way to help others & over schedule myself trying to do it all because I believe I can. My mindset is that one of my gifts is to help others. In my life the joy of gifts is in giving them. I have devoted 20 years to charity work & before that it was volunteering & helping wherever I could. I feel that doing for others is more of a reward to me than to those I am trying to help & it just feels good.
Eternal optimism runs in my family & there are not enough days in the week or minutes in the day for all the things I am doing or plan on doing. Being involved to me means always working on something & believing anything is possible. The only thing that can stop me is my own self doubt & there is no space in my mind for that.
I meet new people & make connections like its my job & therefore would not be called shy. As a social person, many of my acquaintances throughout the years have turned into life long friends. Connecting & sharing my network of friends, family & associates has been very rewarding. My simple conversations have solved some incredible problems & helped achieve dreams. Being connected to family & friends I believe is an important part of our humanity & one that I love.
I live my faith in ways most others would not comprehend. To me my life is my faith. I know many who practice their religion but do not live their faith. This is between themselves & God, but I see His wonder & influence in every aspect of my life & in everything I do. My belief & my faith has gotten me through some of life’s darkest hours & has brought me incredible joy.
My life has been unconventional, tough & at times unbelievable, but it has brought me to where I am today, a place of understanding & being okay with who I am. Lauren has taught me a lot this past year & I am grateful for her wisdom & perspective. She has taught me to appreciate my ‘language’. I am happy, I am joyful, I am eternally grateful & I am weird!
Happy New Year, the best is yet to come!